Saturday, August 24, 2013

Looking for answers about this little guy...

Monday, February 28, 2011

Louise Hay Why Not!?

For the past several weeks during my work day “You Can Heal Your Life” has been chirping in my ear, by choice. At work, I can listen to whatever I’d like, and I have really embraced that in a way I never have before. One day I chose not to listen to my norm Top-40-dance-in-my-seat-keep-me-awake shit, and I found Louise on You Tube. About halfway through "You Can Heal Your Life" I realized my friend Marianne lent me a book of the same name a few years ago, but I'd never picked it up. On the bookshelf it sits.

If I had bothered to read this little jewel that my friend lent to me perhaps I’d be farther along on my journey and further away from wanting to punch the people that cut me off in traffic in the face; In just a few weeks I already see a difference in my patience – for the good! I am starting to recognize that my thoughts are formed from the inside out, not the other way around. Thoughts are truly what make you. I am more, dare I say... laidback.

I began eating up interviews and talks by Pema Chodron, Esther Hicks, Mother Teresa, Thich Nhat Hanh (whom I've read before and love love love), and Brene Brown (thank you T!) - couldn't get enough!

Brene's studies on vulnerability are brilliant... Being able to say no when saying yes is the expected answer is so huge. No, I'd rather not take you to the store every Saturday morning at 7am, Aunt Linda, take the bus and we'll get together once a month for shopping and lunch, but 7am on a Saturday. Jesus! Yeah, worked through that one years ago, but Brene's research validated my decision. Whew! And it's still a work in progress.

I cannot remember which one of the amzing teachers I was listening to that said forgiveness of self is one of the single most important things we can do to begin healing and thinking differently... Found this quote from Mark Twain, "Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." Pretty much sums it up.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

There is this woman inside...

... with wine in hand and a groove in her hips, a journal by her bed and acceptance in her heart.

This woman is me. Existing is one thing, living is another.

Monday, August 17, 2009


I have been looking for the ideal moral compass. A faith that feels right, comfy, cozy, easy. The Buddhist teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh make the most sense to me; live mindfully, breathe deep, listen. Karma is a good rule of thumb and speaks to the Christian bible verse, "due unto others as you would have them due unto you."

When I was young I imagined all faiths spinning around and down a funnel, all neatly poured in to the same jar; like lemon juice and sugar water combining to make the perfect glass of lemonade. Now as an adult (and I use that term loosely) I cling to a similar analogy, that all faiths are lakes, streams, and rivers flowing into the same ocean - god, goddess, universe.

As I search for my truth I pray that all religions / spiritual practices really do lead to the same light and knowledge. If people are happy and no one is being harmed let us accept and love each other regardless of our faith. Why not use the journey of others as awesome and fascinating bits of information to enlighten our own lives? Why not sit cross legged on the floor in front of believers from all walks of life (like a child listening to a fairytale) and listen to them speak of their faith and where it has taken them?

You know what, the moral compass I am seeking is already installed in my psyche! Be nice. Follow your bliss. Live your life and be happy. Laugh. Ask. Listen. Study. I guess fine tuning the listening part of my compass couldn't hurt.

Wow, sometimes I forget how cathartic writing can be.

Monday, June 29, 2009


According to the definition of blog is, "To write entries in, add material to, or maintain a weblog." That's it?

There are so many random, funny, sad, clever, frustrating, and beautiful things that happen on a daily basis, and this is where I am going to share my perspective on those things and more. It's time to flex my creative muscles for they have nearly atrophied under the sometimes crushing weight of depression and procrastination. No, no - not poor me! I have so much to be thankful for... many proverbial silver linings.

My name is Melissa and I will be your tour guide in to the mind and musings of a white thirty-something lesbian... not all thirtyish white lesbians mind you - just me, just me.

Oh, I just realized this is mine, all mine! No spelling, grammar, or punctuation worries here. It's a safe zone (or at least I am declaring it one). Yesssss!